Yesterday, I read this post by @BryonyCole and it hit a nerve with me (several in fact). Bryony raises a point that many people have pondered over the last few decades. When I think about perceptions of women in the office the strong women are at best considered shrews, at worst they’re ‘b*tches’, by contrast the women who take on more of a nurturing role are seen as a ‘mother’ figure and get walked over by all and sundry. Then there are the statements like, ‘she’s great at her job, but eventually she’ll go off to have babies’.
Can we still be women, feminine and strong? Are the two concepts compatible? Can we be ourselves and still be successful? Do we have to be one person in the office and one person at home?
I’ve got more questions than answers when it comes to this because it’s something I struggle with a lot. Whenever I bake for people in the office I think to myself, ‘what does this make people think of me?’ There aren’t many days where I’m not told a variation of any of the following, ‘you should be nicer’, ‘you should be more aggressive’, ‘you should to stand up for yourself’, ‘you need to take charge’, ‘don’t let people walk all over you’, ‘you should be happier’, ‘you shouldn’t/should dress like that’, ‘you’re passive aggressive’.
How are we supposed to manage all of these expectations? It often feels like whichever approach we take it is the wrong one, there are always a lot of ‘shoulds’ being thrown around. If we’re too vulnerable we’re seen to be a sook or needy, but if we’re too strong we get told it seems like we don’t need help from anyone else.
Do we have to manipulate our own behaviour to pander to the perceptions of others in order to be successful? We keep hearing that nice girls don’t get the corner office, but should we really have to alter our personality so dramatically just to be successful?
Shouldn't we just be able to be ourselves?
0 thoughts:
Post a Comment