A few days ago I was speaking to a friend about an issue that’s been a topic of conversation for the last few months, my friend has been very patient with me but finally said, “Ellison, you’ve spent almost half of your year on this, shouldn’t you spend the rest of your year on something that’s worth it?”
It made me think about the reading I’ve been doing for my Organisational Behaviour unit which speaks about ‘locus of control’ which is a person’s general belief about the amount of control he or she has over personal life events. This locus comes in two types, internal and external. If you have an internal locus of control you will believe that your personal characteristics mainly influence life’s outcomes. Those that have an external locus of control believe that events in their life are mainly due to fate, luck or conditions in the external environment.
I tend to fall on the internal locus of control side, I like to think that the things that happen in my life are due to my own choices and my own decisions, that’s not always a good thing, but it does lead to accountability. Now I’ve banged on a lot about choice and excuses so I also thought a bit about the times that I’m wishing my life away, whether it’s just “hurry up and get to the weekend” or a particular event that I’m waiting to happen. When really I’m in what will be some of the best years of my life, and at some point I’m going to look back and think, ‘gee, what were you complaining about?’
I think I’ve read this somewhere or I’m just making it up, but there are some beliefs (e.g. not mainstream religion) which say there is no afterlife, or heaven or hell. There is just what we currently have, and within our lives we can create our own heaven or we can create our own hell. It’s our choice.
This is something I’ve been thinking a lot about and so when I’m in a bad mood, I acknowledge it, I try and work it out and then I sit with it for a while because I know it will pass. When I’m in a good mood I embrace it, I have fun and celebrate.
How often are we waiting for something external to ourselves to make us happy or complete, whether it’s a job or a person or new house etc? We spend so much time thinking about the past and the future that we don’t pay attention to the present and before you know it half the year has passed you by.
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