Today I got a call from my Dad to tell me that my Grandma is in hospital (again), she was out of hospital last week and now it appears that she's slipped back, although this time it's pneumonia. So tomorrow my Dad will get the car back off me and drive the three hours up there to be with my Grampy and hopefully to see my Grandma get better and I'll no doubt find my way up over the next few days to see her too.
Needless to say I've spent most of today thinking about her and the person that she has been in my life. My Grandma has been one my strongest female figures and role models, she is endlessly giving. I spent some time with someone tonight who knows her and loves her as I do and he said, 'Margaret just has such a great heart, she doesn't care who you've been, just who you are now'. I scrambled to get a pen as he said that because I knew it was something worthy of being recorded.
How much time do we spend looking back, thinking about the past, agonising, judging, berating and regretting instead of just looking forward or at what we have right now. When I think about my Grandma and the love she has for me (and for everyone in her life) she is one of the few people I know who actually possesses unconditional love.
I have never known her to hold a grudge, to treat someone with spite or to punish them for their mistakes. I have only ever known her to love, she might not say it, but she shows it. When I was a kid she used to stand by the fire and warm our towels ready for us when we got out of the shower. She has a wicked sense of humour and to watch the banter between her and my Grampy after nearly 60 years of marriage is pretty incredible. And don't even get me started on her cooking, if you want to know what love is then all you need to do is taste her lamb roast, or vegetable soup, or cucumber pickles (the list goes on).
I certainly hope that my hair isn't the only thing I got from my Grandma, if I can be just one tenth the person that she is I will be doing well. I've thought for a long time that she was invincible and she would always be around. I'm slowly starting to accept that's not true and so I will appreciate all the time I have with her and I hope that it's at least another 10 years.
In the meantime I'm going to try to be a bit more like her and focus on who people are right now not who they might have been in the past and exercise a bit of unconditional love.
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