I have always been fascinated by perception and how our perceptions can cause mammoth problems and conflicts. We used to just deal with this through communication which was directed at us, but now we deal with it through communication which isn't even directed at us. I can't even count the number of times that I've read a twitter or facebook post and constructed an entire story around what is happening which often doesn't reflect what is the reality.
That's the problem with perception, it's internal - it's based entirely around our own experience, our past, our fears and our insecurities. I know that often what I perceive to be the truth doesn't exactly match up with what is happening and as a result I behave in a way that is unbecoming.
I have been reading a bit about meditation lately, and looking externally and the struggle that each of us have when it comes to thinking outside of ourselves. Because it is completely logical and rational that whatever we are considering and we are dealing with we will think of in terms of how it will affect us.
Even when it comes to love we expect that people will show how they feel in the way that we expect them to. But the reality is that each of us shows love, appreciation, and even anger differently. My Dad shows love with money, he ensures that material needs are satisfied, my Step Mum shows love through cooking. I show love by meeting needs - cooking, baking, sewing, or being someone to rant to.
We expect people to behave the way we want them to behave. I want the people who I love to show love in the way that makes sense to me. The people who love me expect me to show them I love them in the way that makes sense to them.
It's a bit of a problem isn't it? We all expect a certain type of behaviour that we're not going to get because we're too wrapped up in ourselves. Perhaps, the problem is expectations, sometimes we might just expect too much of people. I'm not saying it's ok to settle for sub par behaviour, but maybe sometimes we just need to accept that people won't behave how we want them to and to have some gratitude for what we have been given.
As my Step Mum said tonight, 'love the person, forgive the behaviour'.
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