The Last Goodbye

I think some people are incapable of happiness. You can probably think of the ones in your life that stand out, they're in a job they've hated for years or in a dysfunctional relationship.

And you wonder why they're still there because it's obvious they aren't getting any joy or happiness from it. Often we get so used to something that it's comforting even if it's hollow because it has always been there. We get stuck in a habit and to change that would be confronting, we would have to deal with something new so we stick with what we know.

Habit, is a horrible thing, it's a nasty word, it's defined as; an acquired behaviour pattern regularly followed until it has become almost involuntary. It's doing something because we have been conditioned to do it. Because we're used to it. We eventually become so comfortable in our habits that we forget there is an alternative.

Some people hold onto habits, onto bad jobs or bad relationships because they can't fathom what it would be like not to have that there. What would fill the space?

Others get manipulated into staying in bad habits because they believe that if they're not there things will fall apart. Well, in a job no one is indispensable and in a relationship if someone only comes along when they have a drama or know that you might be moving on then you're being fooled.

Last week I had to let go of a habit. I had to say good bye to someone that I love very much. And I had been clinging onto that, I'd refused to let go, and then I realised how much it was tearing me up. I let go and this anxiety that has been swallowing me for nearly 15 months dissipated. I realised that what I was living with didn't need to be there, not in its current manifestation.

Perhaps one day it will change, but I know that if it doesn't I have chosen now to go forward, to make new connections, break a habit & live without relying on a person that couldn't do the same.